I have been here before and thought of you
Not knowing if you were ready to meet,
Your journey began with an opposed view
Although all dissent insists on a beat.
Paths crossed in haste are rarely determined
As intent gives way on destiny’s course,
A lonely desire is nonetheless twinned
As free will is subject to life’s dead force.
So now I await your arrival here
Unsure if I’ll travel this road again,
If arrows fly straight there’s no point to fear
Despite reckonings including such pain.
Ground tread in hope can be retread in haste
But the land cares not if it falls to waste.
I feel you watching my every move
With hunger feasting in your starved desire
I doubt if my love could ever be proved
Or a rising tide yet dampen that fire
Possessed in the love you owned completely
And locked safely in our own private world
We penetrated that life so deeply
That these probing hands could never unfurl
Smothered in this love you left me breathless
Frozen with naked anticipation
Wanting to remain gripped in this caress
Paralysed with possessive fixation
A thoughtless missed step and close of the door
At last there’s not getting up from the floor
Blinding sunshine on a hot summers morn
Seeing for the first time glorious light,
Bending images as visions are born
Drawing a glowing immaculate sight.
In time colours drain becoming hazy
Running faded hues in combined mixture,
Level age make overcast eyes lazy
While memories still finish a picture.
It’s all just a mirror after the fall
Even blades of light emphasise the black,
Moving further down a grim narrow hall
All that remains is to reap a dread lack.
The darkness descended on the last day
I closed my eyes and borne, drifted away.
Yellow summer dress you wore when we met
‘My favourite thing’ you timidly said.
Blossom in your hair so awkwardly set
(I knew that it came from my flower bed).
Like a cloud in white on our wedding day
While people discussed the buffet instead.
You floated around refusing to say
Why their sandwiches had no buttered bread.
So now that purple is all that you wear
Most people will smile and try to be nice
But don’t curse the times as old folks will stare
If you talk too loud and quickly swear twice.
Age fades the colours so it’s hard to tell
Why you insist I wear purple as well.
Remember we met and joined at the soul?
I knew that you felt the connection too.
With gratitude I accepted my role,
Your trust was so pure possessed by so few.
Happiest times were those spent together
Filled with hope and unconditional love.
I often wish they’d lasted forever
Despite knowing now that time’s not enough.
What brought us together now calls you home
So be happy my jewel, shine from above.
You enriched my life but never to own
Now freedom and sadness go with my love.
I miss you angel and I always will
With this heavy heart I think of you still.
With strength I lived a life true to myself
Not the life others expected of me.
This time was my own, for nobody else
So I learned to work less, learned to play free.
The courage to express my feelings soon
Brought peace and a truth to those that I love.
Keeping friends close in an earthly cocoon
Our chrysalis helped us to rise above.
Choosing to worry less what people thought
Is easy knowing how little they do!
The most basic gift that my life has taught?
Happiness is the choice given to you.
So live your life light and carry no debt
Look back with love and be free from regret.
I have lived a life full of hurt and pain
While you watched and left as my head fell low,
I picked the holes and dressed up in the shame
When you turned away, I began to bow.
Alone I must now live out the remains
And never know if you still live one too.
I am this life and start to own the gains
Do you? Or are you too late and too few?
If the rain should pass and the sun burn bright
So the whole may still complete in my mind,
I could see my life as a point of light
And feel the warmth that I must one day find.
You took apart each piece almost in awe
Then flew to build a masterpiece for all.